Under his bed
by Future Writer Girl
Summary: We've all heard the story of James and Lily, told countless of times by different author's trying to truly capture who they were. Here is my take on what happened between the two. James loves lily just a bit too much where it is borderlining on stalking her, how far will he go to claim his only love? Told in three parts. 'Begining truth' 'Middle growing' & 'Ending love'


**Everything** started on his first day of Hogwarts, before he even had gotten on the train, actually. The Potter family had walked through the barrier exactly an hour before the train was supposed to leave. His mother was quietly dabbing her tears away with her favourite red handkerchief. While his father walked proudly beside him, head held high and sure footed. The family of three stopped to drop of his bags before leading him near the middle of the whole crowd.

"Now, James, I want you to remember everything we've taught you, alright?" Elladora Potter spoke to her only son, James nodded and smiled.

"Of course mum, dung bombs, fireworks, colour changing spells, I've got it" James smiled, she sighed exasperatedly, but laughed all the same.

"I'm not joking, what did we go over in the Car, Mister Potter?" Elladora raised a brow; James knew not to mess with his mum when she raised her eyebrow. Quickly he tried to remember what was so important.

"Purebloods are no better than Muggleborns, they should be treated with equal respect, never underestimate the powers of a Muggleborn. If they seem like they need help, help them, but beware their pride. Never help a pureblood. Never call someone a...Y'know" James trailed off his mother seemed satisfied with his answer, then she got an odd look on her face, he couldn't place it.

"Never help out a pureblood?" She asked, James flashed his Dad's signature smirk; Elladora shook her head.

"And why not James, why can't you help purebloods?" She asked, ignoring her husband's chuckle in the background.

"They've been around magic their entire lives, I mean look at him" James pointed to a boy with long brown hair "He's Sirius Black the heir to the Black family fortune, I think he can manoeuvre his big head around a magical castle" James finished, by know Harold Potter was in fits, and Elladora seemed to be holding back her laughter as well.

"Don't judge a book by its cover" Ella-Dora said, flicking James nose.

"That's what you said when you asked me to meet Jenny" James said, referring to one of the many play-dates she had tried to set James up with over the years. Elladora huffed, standing up straight. She walked over to where James could see his older cousin Marissa, she was a seventh year prefect. Along with her there was also Miranda, her twin, top of her class and already had a job set up with the healers at St. Mungo's. Then Martin, he had graduated last year and was now working to become an auror.

The Potter family was a difficult family to live in, James knew this. There was always the pressure of the older cousins' good deeds, and successes' in the shadows. James had never been the cleverest, nor the bravest, or the smartest, or the funniest, or good-looking. He knew if he could let everybody in his family see he wasn't useless, he would make his mum proud. Something James had felt he had never accomplished.

His father noticing his sad expression walked over to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"James, I know this family is tough to live up to, but know you'll always be number one in my books" He said, James turned round and smiled a bit.

"Thanks Dad" James hugged his father 'round the waist. When James let go, a spark seemed to go off in Harold's head.

"Oh I almost forgot, I want you to do one thing while you're at Hogwarts besides the obvious" Harold pulled out an old looking brown leather book "I bought this the day you were born, like my dad did for me and so on and so forth, and I want you to write in it each day about the most interesting person and or event you meet and or happened that day" James nodded taking the book from his father.

"What if nothing exciting happens?" James asked, his father smirked.

"It's Hogwarts, James, Hogwarts" The two almost identical Potter men laughed happily. James looked at the back of the book there was a very small inscription.

_Words are the gateway to love._

James decided to ignore it. His father was currently looking around murmuring things to himself, James shook his father slightly.

"Alright James, we're going to play a little game, I want you to go around the room and find 5 girls that you think are pretty and give them a description" Harold Potter said, James looked at his old father, raising a brow.

"Don't judge tradition, I had to do this, you have to do this" Harold spoke with a certain authority that James knew only his father had. James looks around, he saw a lot of girls in skirts or frilly dresses, none really caught his eye.

"Okay, um her" James pointed to a short brunette "She's wearing a plain skirt, so she's cool, calm and collected, carrying a text book so she's smart, and wearing Mary-Jane's so she's obviously innocent" James did this a couple more times, two other brunettes and a blond.

"Alright, Good job, you sure you're only 11, damn, you'd make your uncle Robert proud now" Harold said, referring to James' godfather Robert. "One more to-OUF!" Harold fell to the ground with a loud thump.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! I just lost control of the trolley, are you alright sir, should I call a doctor? Do wizards have doctors? Oh, this is a wonderful way to start my magical education" The girl rambled, James and the unknown girl- James still hadn't seen her face, he stood behind her- got Harold to his feet and onto the girls trolley.

"Sir, Are you alright?" James studied the girl; she had long hair that was kept up by an old blue baseball cap. Unlike the girls that wore skirts she wore light jeans with a deep purple shirt.

"Yes, dear, I'm Harold Potter and this is my son James, and you are?" Harold asked, the girl suddenly became very self-conscious.

"I'm Lily, Lily Evans, pleasure to meet you Mister Potter" Lily said, sticking out her hand for a shake, witch his father took happily.

"I'm really sorry to hit and run, but I really must be going" Lily almost turned around, but Harold grabbed her hand.

"Miss Lily, you ran into me with your trolley, at least can I introduce you to my son?" James' eyes snapped to his fathers', James had a very bad problem talking to pretty girls. He always tended to speak either incoherently or he would end up saying something really stupid- his dad said it was genetic, he prayed his kid didn't have it. He also doubted his father had it either, with some of the smooth lines he used on James' mother.

Lily Evans finally turned around, and, momentarily he forgot to breathe. The girl was beautiful, Lily smiled brightly at him, James blinked several times. He smiled shyly, James stared into her eyes, he thought they looked like actual emeralds.

"Lily Evans" Lily smiled, her eyes shone with happiness.

"James Potter, Pleasure, you have beautiful eyes" James realized what he had said and tried to play it off as if he meant to say that, but on the inside he was hitting himself over the head with his mother's priceless vase.

"Oh, Um, Thank you" Lily blushed, smiling again. "I really must be going, but it was nice meeting you Mister Potter, James" Harold got up off her stuff, and Lily pushed her cart out of site. James stared at her; he couldn't believe such a tom-boy was so pretty.

"James? James! JAMES!" Harold yelled, waking James out of his stupider. Harold was smirking; he had that mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yes?" James asked, he whipped his mouth to make sure he didn't drool or anything.

"I just wanted to give you a piece of advice, yeah?" Harold squatted down to where he was looking up at James, who just nodded.

"The bimbo's that fall over you- they're not worth it, the ones you've got to fight for, they're worth it" James didn't even have time to respond before his mother came rushing over hugging him tightly, he realized he had to leave. James was saddened at the thought of leaving his parents, they had only ever been able to have him- and even that was a miracle. But he was thrilled, he was going.

He, James Harold William Joseph Potter, was going to Hogwarts; and he would be just as good as his cousins.

Later that night, as he sat in bed, quill and his book in hand, James didn't know who to write about. Sirius was an option, they discussed pranking, and James knew he had a best friend for life right then. Then there was Remus, his mother was a dentist and refused to let the boy eat chocolate, one bite and James knew he was hooked. Maybe even his new pudgy roommate, he hadn't spoken to any of the boys, James realized he was probably just shy.

But James' quill didn't seem to write any of their names down, instead his hand chicken scrawled another name: _Lily Evans._

And that's how it started, his infatuation with Lily Evans. He sometimes wondered what would have happened if she hadn't run his father over; Sirius assures him somehow he would have fallen for her. Every day, that's who he would write about, Lily Evans did this, Lily Evans did that.

Over the years, his notes accumulated, the more he got to know about her, then bigger his pile would get. One day in third year her had walked on up to her with what had become his-and his fathers- trademark smirk.

"OI! Evans" James had taken up to calling her that the past couple of months, after she refused to use his first name, he told her he liked the way it sounded when it rolled off her tongue. She then stormed off, and James now had to resort to stop saying 'Lily'.

"What do you want Potter?" She asked, glaring daggers at his skull.

"Do you have a date to Hogsmead?" James asked, running a hand nervously through his hair. James had to make sure things came out right, he had practiced this in the mirror for 2 hours, he'd be fine.

"No, can I leave now?" She asked, Turning around, but James caught her hand like his father had all those years ago.

"Do you maybe want to go with me?" He asked, flashing his trademark smirk. Inner James for once when he talked to her wasn't hitting/running/breaking anything near his skull. The girls broke out into whispers and giggles, while the boys wolf whistled at her. She looked as if she was considering it, until she broke out into hysterical laughter.

"The one time I don't make a joke and you laugh, is there something funny here Evans?" James asks. Part of him wanted to go break something, while the other just wanted to sulk in his bedroom.

"Yeah you!" Lily said, James tried to force the pained expression off his face "Date you! I'd never date you! I'd rather date the giant squid than you!" Lily walked away laughing, everybody waited his response. So James just scoffed and walked off, he ignored the Marauders' comments and shut the blinds on his bed pulling out a box filled with everything he knew about Lily Evans.

James realizing it was a complete disaster picked up the folders on his bedside table and began to organize it, re-writing it, everything. James didn't stop all night, when he was done he got out a piece of parchment and wrote:

**Ways to get Evans**

**Ask her out nicely, **_Got laughed at._

**Ask her out in a note**

**Get one of her friends to talk about me constantly until she realises she's in love with me.**

James smiled at his progress; he soon realized his collection was now too big to fit in his bedside table. So James got out a box and placed everything in it, and slid it under his bed.

During 5th year, James had about 6 boxes full. One for each year, and one for his journals. They were separated by not only year, but some even by moth and day. They were all colour coded, and done alphabetically, or by pain of rejection.

Nobody knew about it but the boxes, not the Marauders, not his parents, nobody. He liked it that way. When she shot him down this is what he would do, sorted, filed, and stacked. Once he tried to burn it all, he was so ashamed of it. But then he realized it would be the only thing he had left of Lily Evans when they graduated. So he would stash it back under his bed where it would stay.

James was really quite ashamed of how he treated her, but a girl as perfect and as beautiful as that would never give 'real' James the time of day. He just needed a way to talk to her, to be near her. He was unashamed though of how much he loved his fights with Lily Evans, she knew how to make him angry, and to get under his skin. It was also the only time he ever got to talk to her, if he was real James he'd just be another guy that drooled over her, but when he was popular James he stood out from all the other guys. Every guy in Hogwarts knew to stay away from Lily Evans, because she was James Potter's girl.

He was still quite nervous around Lily, and had taken up the habit of running his hand through his hair. She hated it, but it was the only way he could speak to her without either his inner self beating him over the head with something hard or passing out. Other girls were a breeze now, compared to her. But they didn't mean anything, but they were just distractions, to try and ease the pain.

After one very painful rejection, James returned to his dorm to find all of his boxes out. He quickly walked over to them, making sure nothing was out of place. A familiar voice cleared his throat. His body stiffened as he turned to see all three other Marauders, they were looking at him with a look of pity. Except Sirius, who was glaring at him.

"So, what is this?" Sirius was pissed. James had kept these boxes a secret, he had broken the first marauder rule.

"You went through my stuff?" James responded, Remus stared at the same spot on the floor. James looked down to see Remus' charms notes that must have fallen from his nightstand.

"That's not the problem here mate, what are these boxes?" James looked at them, why hadn't he told the marauders? He knew the answer the second it popped in his head; he was too ashamed.

"Just, stuff, old-"

"Don't you dare lie to me" Sirius' grey orbs meet the warm, hazel of James'. James sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Their boxes of things I know... About people" James tried his best to be vague, but still answering Sirius' question. Sirius walked over to one of the files and picked it up, opening it.

"No!" But James was too late; Sirius was staring up at him with a look of pity.

"Prongs..." Sirius couldn't say anything else. James snatched to folder back, placing it back in the box exactly where it should be. He was taking deep breaths; He would start hyperventilating then probably pass out from the shame.

"What is it?" Peter came up, but James started putting all his boxes back. They had seen enough for one day.

"James... I knew you liked her, but not this much" Sirius was looking at the boxes surrounding him.

"Lily? These boxes are all filled with stuff of Lily?" Peter asked, he was looking between the two best friends.

"How could you keep this from us, we can help you get her mate" James felt tears well up in his eyes, then he chuckled. If getting Lily was as simple as Sirius thinks it was James would have had her a long time ago.

"Did you ever think maybe I'm ashamed of this?" James gestured to all the boxes and journals. Sirius looked stunned, Remus came over and looked at the boxes, he was probably shocked t how well it was filed.

"You're ashamed of loving Lily?" James' eyes snapped up to Sirius' with a look he had never seen from his best mate before- he didn't like it at all.

"I could never be ashamed of loving her- Never" James shouted, placing everything back in their respectful spots underneath his bed. As they should be.

"What do you mean, Prongs?" Peter asked, stepping forward and trying to grasp the situation. "You mean you actually love her?" James couldn't stand the looks of pity he was earning from the marauders.

"Fine. You caught me" James chuckled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Alright, I admit it! Are you happy now, yes I LOVE her. Bloody fucking love her and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it!" James finished sadly, sitting down on his bed with his head in hands.

"Prongs..." Sirius tried to comfort his friend, but words eluded him.

"She hates me. Padfoot. She told me today, She hates me... " James finished softly, the three other marauders sat on the small canopy bed trying to think of ways to help him.

"Well... I guess we do what she says" Sirius finally spoke after five minutes of silence between the four boys. The three other boys brows' furrowed in confusion. "Prongs... We've got to grow up"

All eyes widened at his statement, this was coming from the Peter Pan of Hogwarts. The boy who never wanted to grow up; and to just stay a teenager forever.

"B-but Padfoot, we swore-" James started, but Sirius held up a hand.

"You love her?" Sirius asked, crossing his arms. He had never been a fan of Lily Evans, ever. Sirius hated the way she treated his best mate, but seeing James like this- The heir to the black family fortune would have done anything.

"More than anything" James said, staring mostly at the ground. He was still trying to shake the feeling of pity in his stomach.

"Then Prongs, we've got two years to grow up and make Lily Evans yours. You better marry her after this" James finally cracked a smile, bringing his best mate into a tight embrace. "We can still pull pranks though- right Prongs?"

**Alright, part one of a series, there will be either one more- or two. I haven't decided yet. I know I haven't written anything lately, but I've had serious writers block. **

**Give me a quick review to tell me what you think!**

**~FRG**


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